


Jeon Jungkook Needs Jesus

by jungkookgalaxy



Category: GOT7, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Bottom Park Jimin, Cameos, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Group texts, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Smut, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Power Bottom Min Yoongi | Suga, Top Jeon Jungkook, Top Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, it is hinted at, kind of dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-26 11:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungkookgalaxy/pseuds/jungkookgalaxy
Summary: This is just a collection of dumb/random group texts amongst BTS with added cameos.Also, I dont know what the title is, I thought alliteration would be fun so yeah... (also in this story he does need jesus)





	1. Jimmy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I've been reading on ao3 for 4 years now, but this is my first work here... (I used to write on wattpad, *shudder* dark times) My favorite thing to write is group chats where I can just let my humor run rampant. Really hope you guys enjoy this! Thanks so much :)

Kook: ok who tf changed jimin's name

  
Hoesock: What's the problem ??

  
Jimmy: do you not like my new nickname Kookie :(

  
Kook: no bb I love it...

  
Kook: i was just curious

  
Yoongay: hA, nice save douche

  
Kook: who you callin a douche hyung, im pretty sure that's you

  
Yoongay: wanna fIGHT kid!?

  
Hoesock: I think we know who would win that.

  
Jimmy: yeah! you guys would both win cause youre both grrrreat ;)

 

Hoesock: Uh, sure...

  
Hoesock: That's what I meant too heh

  
Kook: babe, my precious jiminie

  
Kook: i KNOW you did not just quote tony the tiger

  
Yoongay: actually what the fuck

  
Yoongay: why am i friends with any of you

  
Yoongay: Namjoon is so much better than all of you

  
Hoesock: Hmm, really ?

  
Yoongay: i mean except you. Duh

  
Kook: oh shit boy, youre fucked

 

Yoongay: nothing new

 

Jimmy: what

 

Hoesock: Idiot..

 

Kook: hold up, am i hearing this correctly

 

Yoongay: youre not hearing anything ass hat, this is a text conversation

 

Kook: ok whatever, but youre saying

 

Kook: that hoseok hyung

 

Kook: hyung takes charge

 

Jimmy: of what ?

 

Kook: j to the hope hyung is the

 

Jimmy: the what? what is he

 

Jimmy: i wanna know so bad

 

Kook: he- he

 

Kook: FUCK that's golden

 

Kook: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

Jimmy: but you are golden Kookie

 

Kook: thanks baby, i know

 

Yoongay: yA KNow what kid

 

Hoesock: You can just shut your mouth.

 

Kook: he even finishes your sentences lmaooooo

 

Kook: hyung, i might start crying. this is too funny

 

Jimmy: Jiminie to the rescue! I will save Jungkookie

 

Kook: hMPH, he literally just jumped on me

 

Yoongay: that's what you get Hoesock: We will get revenge

 

Hoesock: You tell our secret, and we'll tell yours

 

Jimmy: wait

 

Jimmy: secret???

 

Jimmy: what did i miss...


	2. Jungkook's secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly dont know how many chapters this will have heh heh

Jimmy: so, since no one told me what was going on, i had to bring in outside help

 

Gyeomybear: um, hi 

 

Kook: hey, what's up bro

 

Gyeomybear: i mean honestly, i was just hanging with bambam when i got a text from ur bf

 

Yoongay: yah, what is he doing here?!!

 

Jimmy: i brought him as moral support

 

Jimmy: he wants to know your guys' secret

 

Hoesock: We dont have a secret.

 

Yoongay: is he paying you kid 

 

Gyeomybear: honestly

 

Jimmy: .....

 

Gyeomybear: uhhhh, nope he's not

 

Kook: not that im mad, but i know my baby and he def paid you

 

Gyeomybear: ok yeah...he did

 

Jimmy: Kookie! do you not have any faith in me..

 

Kook: uh, of c-course i do! my Jiminie would NEVER pay someone to do his dirty work

 

Jimmy: that's what i thought, love you 

 

Kook: love you baby boy 

 

Yoongay: i just puked in my damn mouth

 

Hoesock: That's the secret. Jungkook is whipped for Jimin

 

Hoesock: He'll literally agree with him on anything

 

Kook: no, i'll tell YOU a secret hyung

 

Gyeomybear: please do

 

Gyeomybear: i want my money and an inside scoop of the dRaMa

 

Kook: jhope hyung tops min yoongi

 

Kook: *mic drop*

 

Yoongay: so.

 

Yoongay: im the one on top.

 

Gyeomybear: oh this is rich

 

Gyeomybear: he bottoms from the top to uphold his masculinity

 

Jimmy: listen i didnt hire you to say big words

 

Jimmy: i hired you cause i thought u were dumb

 

Kook: Jimin.

 

Jimmy: i-i mean...i hired you cause i knew you were smart and could help :))

 

Kook: good boy

 

Hoesock: Holy shit

 

Hoesock: I was wrong, Jungkook's secret is that he's a kinky brotherfucker

 

Yoongay: brotherfucker ?

 

Hoesock: well yeah, Jiminie is like our little brother and Jungkook fucks him

 

Jimmy: so what does that make me ?

 

Gyeomybear: a...brotherfuckee..

 

Yoongay: LMAO

 

Yoongay: forget what i said earlier, you can stay man

 

Gyeomybear: lmao thanks

 

Kook: you bitch

 

Kook: see if i go bowling with you again


	3. Trip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao y'all I forgot how much I loved writing!! So, i'll probably be updating a lot :)

Yoongay: ok so i have a proposition

 

Jimmy: Ooo that's a big word

 

Kook: sorry about him, what is it hyung

 

Jimmy: hey-

Yoongay: i was thinking that we should go on a trip

 

Hoesock: I second the notion

 

Kook: could be fun, where to?

 

Yoongay: get this, idk

 

Kook: hyung wtf

 

Yoongay: i didnt think you guys would want to heh

 

Jimmy: let's go to iceland!!! I wanna see some cool ice

Hoesock: But it's not-

Yoongay: wrong place jim

Kook: oh, baby, no

Gyeomybear: honey what is you doin

 

Kook: im still mad at you!!!! :<(

 

Gyeomybear: im sorry, i got bored hiding from Jinyoung hyung

 

Jimmy: tell him i said hi!!

 

Gyeomybear: will do lol

 

Yoongay: um okay anyways...

 

Hoesock: Iceland could be cool. But it doesnt have ice like you think

 

Jimmy: ohhh...well i still wanna go!

 

Kook: im down

Kook: should we invite namjin too

 

Hoesock: And leave Tae by himself?

 

Yoongay: he'd probably be happy

 

Jimmy: my bffl tae!!!

 

Kook: true, he wouldnt have to be around all the couples for a few days

 

Jimmy: i just told him we wanted to go on a trip and he said "cool, bye" :((

 

Yoongay: so that's settled

 

Hoesock: well sweet, i'll let the parents know 

 

Kook: im gonna kill tae

Kook: no one upsets my baby nd gets away with it


	4. Honey, I'm trying to pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimin is looking for a certain item of clothing, but uh, it's personal..

Jimmy: um so guys

Jimmy: has anyone seen anything...different around the dorms

 

Hoesock: Different? Like my pouch haha

 

Yoongay: stop talking about that damn pouch

 

Kook: babe, wym

 

Jimmy: eheh, like a not typical clothing item

 

Hoesock: I haven't seen anything in our room

 

Yoongay: i never leave my room so i know everything that's in it

 

Kook: babeee, what are you looking for

 

Jimmy: um this thing i bought last week

Jimmy: it's purple

 

Kook: gotta be more specific

 

Hoesock: How do you wear it?

 

Jimmy: like pants...

 

Yoongay: like pants, but it's not ?

 

Jimmy: yes, exactly.

 

Hoesock: Did you go with anyone or tell anyone you got it?

 

Jimmy: it was meant to be a surprise! heh

 

Kook: ohhh for who??

 

Jimmy: you, Kookie..

 

Yoongay: welp i dont wanna know now

 

Hoesock: You're sick Jiminie, sick

 

Kook: why are u guys being mean to him??

Kook: he just has something for me

Kook: wait, he  **wont** tell us

Kook: oh, it's for- 

Kook: ohhhh ;)

 

Yoongay: gross

 

Hoesock: Take this outside the groupchat

 

Kook: gladly ;)

 

Jimmy: but i cant find it!!!

 

Kook: dont need em for what im gonna do to you

 

Jimmy: eek! 

 

Hoesock: Just get new ones for our trip haha 

 

Yoongay: why are you helping these kids..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't guess, they were panties. And no, I'm not sorry


	5. Tae's gonna get it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook makes light of his promise.

Yoongay: so, somebody wanna tell me why tae is hiding in my room

 

Jimmy: he's trying to get away from Kookie's wrath

 

Kook: im gonna chew him up then spit him out, see if he's still good lookin then

 

Hoesock: Woah, calm down there muscle pig

 

Yoongay: what did he do exactly

 

Jimmy: hurt my feelings! :(

 

Kook: yup, and he wont get away with it

 

Hoesock: Now kids, we should settle this like adults

 

Kook: not today

Kook: this is war

 

Jimmy: dont fight tae

Jimmy: come and cuddle instead 

Jimmy: :/

 

Yoongay: two very conflicting sides

Yoongay: what will jungkook choose 

 

Kook: stop narrating this hyung

Kook: not really helping

 

Hoesock: Shit, what was that sound?!

 

Yoongay: that would be jungkook finally picking the lock and kicking the door for dramatic effect

 

Hoesock: Hm, that was your longest thought yet

 

Yoongay: you piece of-

Yoongay: i love you. i love you. no hate whatsoever

 

Hoesock: Aw! Love you too. Doesn't that feel better than being mad all the time

 

Yoongay: yes.

 

Kook: well that was easy

Kook: i picked him up by his collar and he gave in

Kook: even got a video of him shaking while apologizing to my jiminie

 

Hoesock: Premium blackmail material right there

 

Yoongay: it was even better in person my god

 

Jimmy: this is the best day ever!

Jimmy: he fought for me and now he's cuddling me too!! :)

 

Kook: all in a days work baby


	6. Planes are scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only it wasn't so long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! i now have a laptop to write on!!! but i am in college, so that is why i have not been posting....sorryyyyyyyyy
> 
> i still get kudos so thank you so much and i really want to continue writing this for you guys cause it helps relieve some of my stress.
> 
>  
> 
> anyways...enjoy...

Kook: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS

Kook: LET'S GET THIS BREAD

 

Yoongay: that was...entirely in English

 

Jimmy: what did he say!!!

 

Joonbug: I honestly don't know how to translate that into Korean, nor do I want to.

Joonbug: Also, why?

 

Jimmy: do you like your new name hyung!!! :))

  

Joonbug: Oh, you did it Jimin. Of course I LOVE it!

  

Yoongay: i am sensing some sar-

 

Hoesock: Babe if I were you, I wouldn't finish that thought

 

Yoongay: ya know what

Yoongay: you are so right

 

Kook: okay anyways, listen up

 

Yoongay: we can't hear you

 

Kook: bitch, i will scream if i have to

 

Yoongay: ...continue

 

Kook: so i got us an uber coming at 2 and then we'll have to jump on a flight and then we should be iceland in like...almost 11 hours

 

Yoongay: did i actually sign up for an 11 hour flight-

Yoongay: im so jumping out of the plane half way through

 

Hoesock: But :(( I would miss you

 

Jimmy: we all would!

 

Yoongay: 11 hours sounds great! can't wait

 

Joonbug: Nice save there hyung

 

Jin: I would rather take a private jet then be on a plane with you all for 11 hours

 

Jimmy: Oooo tea!!!!!

 

Jin: Honey

 

Kook: baby please,,,,

 

Hoesock: He's not even wrong...T

 

Yoongay: IM QUITING


	7. I'm SICK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A name change....and a ghost...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh heh so they had a great trip to Iceland, went to all the springs, ate their hearts out and did some dirty things at the hotel
> 
>  
> 
> now it is H A L L O W E E N time!!

Jimothy: happy halloween!!!!!!!!

 

Yoongay: jimo what now

 

Joonbug: I did not do that.

 

Kook: i'm SICK

Kook: I HATE EVERYTHING

 

Jin: Honey who did this to you

 

Jimothy: i honestly don't know, but isn't it so cute :0

 

Jin: Cute-

 

Yoongay: maybe it was a ghost

 

Joonbug: Or a demon.

Joonbug: Who possessed Jimin into thinking this is okay.

 

Hoesock: This is objectively the worst thing that has happened in a long time

 

Yoongay: jungkook is malfunctioning

Yoongay: he keeps pacing around the room

 

Hoesock: So that's why he isn't answering

 

Yoongay: he threw his phone behind the couch

 

Jin: I don't blame him

 

Joonbug: I honestly have no more words

Joonbug: Except ghost (demon) could you change my name too?

Namkanda: Has a nice ring to it. Thanks buddy

 

Jin: I-

 

Jimothy: change everyone's names mr. ghost!!!!

 

Jin: Mr. ghost - i'm screaming

Jinothy: Damn it.

 

Hoesock: Anything is better than hoesock

Hober: I spoke to soon

 

Yoongay: what could you even change it to, it's already perfect

 

Kook: I swear if you tou-

Kook: that's what I thought


	8. Wrath of JJK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't mess with Jeon Cena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to post this chapter since November...it literally would not work for me, so sorry!! :/

Taeee: who wants to play video games with me?

 

Yoongay: why are you here

 

Kook: yeah no one wants to play with you

 

Jimmy: sorry, I can’t right now!!!!

 

Taeee: well thanks, I feel loved

 

Kook: you're welcome

 

Taeee: get fucked

 

Hoesock: I think you have it backwards

 

Kook: thank you j DOPE

 

Jimmy: why are we talking about this!!

 

Jin: Honey, we been knew

  
Jin: There’s nothing you could hide from us

 

Yoongay: yeah, like you can’t hide your relationship with joon

 

Hoesock: That’s just the tea!

 

Jimmy: yeah hyung!!

 

Joonbug: Do I want to know how you found out?

 

Yoongay: probably not..

  
Yoongay: but honestly you’re better than jikook so

 

Joonbug: Thank goodness

 

Jimmy: hey :////

 

Kook: what y’all mad for

  
Kook: im not sorry for loving my bf

 

Jimmy: 😊😊😊

 

Jin: Sis

  
Jin: It’s a little more than just loving

 

Taeee: yeah “daddy”

 

Jimmy: you heard NOTHING !!!

 

Kook: and what about it ?

  
Kook: again, not sorry

  
Kook: isn’t that right baby

 

Yoongay: please don’t answ-

 

Jimmy: of course daddy!

 

Hoesock: Oh My God

 

Jin: I know he did not just do that

 

Joonbug: I could have gone my whole life-

  
Joonbug: Our sweet Jiminie.

 

Hoesock: I can’t share a room with him anymore

 

Jimmy: what?? :/

 

Hoesock: No more

 

Kook: Hoseok.

  
Kook: would you like to rephrase that.

 

Taeee: Ohhhhhhhh, somebody is in trouble

  
Taeee: just do what he wants, you don’t want him to kick your door in too

 

Hoesock: Sorry Jungkook, my wonderful dongsaeng

  
Hoesock: I would love to keep living in the same room as your wonderful boyfriend

 

Kook: hell yeah you would bitch

  
Kook: that’s my baby and don’t you forget it

 

Hoesock: Of course, I will never upset you again

 

Kook: 😉

 

Joonbug: I’m scared

 

Yoongay: this is pretty standard Jungkook behavior

 

Taeee: more like jeon cena behavior

 

Kook: same thing tbh


	9. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook has had enough

Kook: alright, this ends now

 

Yoongay: um ??

 

Joonbug: Are you alright son

 

Hoesock: Okay who did something

 

Angelbaby: kookie??

Anglebaby: awwwwwwwww 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

 

Kook: finally. 

Kook: some good fucking food

 

Hoesock: I want to be disgusted-

Hoesock: But you’re not wrong Jungkook

 

Jin: This is actually very cute and I’m mad about it

 

Yoongay: i think my heart felt something for a second

 

Hoesock: Why can’t you do stuff like that for me

 

Yoongay: you know im bad at showing affection

 

Kook: i can teach you hyung

 

Taeee: lmao i can’t stop thinking about him holding a class for it 

 

Kook: bold of u to assume i wouldn’t

Kook: now taking applicants for affection class taught by the man himself, kook. every Saturday at 2, $20 per hour

 

Yoongay: that’s real funny kid

Yoongay: im not paying you $20 in any context

 

Kook: fine

Kook: only free for yoongi hyung because he buys me food

 

Yoongay: that’s more like it

 

Kook: who else wants to sign up ?

 

Angelbaby: can I be your assistant???

 

Kook: of course you can my angelbaby

 

Angelbaby: yay 😊

 

Hoesock: I, for one, have no trouble showing affection

 

Jin: Aren’t you going to sign up Joon

 

Taeee: hyung

Taeee: im crying

 

Kook: i shouldn’t laugh

Kook: but LMAO

 

Hoesock: the tea is SCOLDING today

 

Angelbaby: ^^

 

Joonbug: What did I do to be targeted like this

 

Hoesock: More like what you didn’t do

 

Yoongay: it’s okay joon, we’re in this together

Yoongay: except you have to pay

 

Kook: …also free for namjoon hyung…

 

Yoongay: do you got a favorite or not kid

 

Kook: i like you all..

Kook: you’re my family

 

Hoesock: And THIS is why he is qualified to teach y’all

 

Angelbaby: that’s MY boyfriend everyone

Angelbaby: im so proud!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please do leave comments, I love hearing what you did and did not like. Kudos are always appreciated as well


End file.
